I could make excuses but I won’t, let’s just say that my life has changed dramatically in the past couple of months and I’m finally getting back to my yoga groove.
Stiff back, neck… tightness everywhere. Most of all in my psyche.
I have been working on a love letter to no one in particular since love is the foundation of yogic philosophy and it is the reason we are all here.
Everything pales in comparison to its importance. Our journey here should be guided by love. Our actions should be dictated by love.
But what happens if we lose our way? What happens when our path is not straight, but rather filled with twists and turns?
What if our path doesn’t feel like a path at all, but rather a tilt-a-whirl, vomatron, kick-you-in-the-keister roller coaster all wrapped together?
My love letter to no one is filled with these references as I’ve recently come to realize that my search for meaning and connection with someone special has had more to do with learning to protect myself rather than finding any such meaning and connection?
In other words, the path that we want to be one isn’t always the path that we’re actually on. Isn’t that truly wonderful? From my perspective, this is the meaning of life. Learning to recognize and adapt because there is a reason. This is yoga. Finding the quiet in the chaos. Finding the meaning when we are lost. This is yoga and it is indeed beautiful.
Here is my abbreviated love letter to no one based on this lesson:
…you weren’t there when I most needed you. At first, I hated being alone and then I hated hating that I was alone. I walked away from so many people who offered nothing of any value to me – the people who pushed me away but desperately needed me at the same time; the people who manipulated me and then manipulated others to believe things about me that weren’t true, I walked away from all of them; the people who couldn’t take no for an answer; the people who needed me to make themselves feel superior; the people who tried to make me feel bad in hopes that they would make themselves feel better. I walked away from all of them recognizing that sticking around would have been a journey of love, but not my journey. Because I continue to believe that there is more. More through peace and quiet. The wanting is the suffering. Recognizing and appreciating the love that is in my life, rather than focusing on what is missing… this is the journey of love. Loving myself to walk away every time that the lesson presented to me is one that I’ve already learned and I don’t need to stay. This is yoga. My small-minded moments wanting what I want and not caring about the lesson only lead to suffering, the real meaning and connection has always been inside of me, wanting my attention. Thank you for all the big bumps along the way, and all the messengers who have given me great opportunities to keep moving, walking away from suffering and walking toward greater meaning and connection. This is love. This is yoga.
I love this topic, and I’m not done writing my love letter to no one. So stay tuned, more to come… soon
OM Shanti. Shanti. Shanti