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welcome.

I am so happy you are here!

The list of benefits from a regular yoga practice is indeed long, and a few of these benefits are particularly important for runners, including:

• Increased flexibility
• Increased muscle strength
• Improved respiration, energy and vitality
• Greater protection from injury
• Improved mental acuity and concentration
• Improved balance

Perhaps most importantly, yoga can help improve the mind-body-spirit connection, which is so critical for improving athletic performance.

As the name of this blog indicates, you can start with OM to create the foundation of your practice that will lead you to a better, more peaceful life.

OM is the sound of the universe and represents the union of mind-body-spirit, which is the goal of yoga. (Note that there are as many definitions for OM as there are stars in the sky but this is a basic definition for beginning to understand the concept!)

OM is significant as it is often used as part of a centering technique to focus the mind and move into deep relaxation or prepare us for what we are about to do. Experiencing the openness of the “O” sound and the vibration of the “M” sound can be helpful for drawing inward.

As you make the sound either quietly to yourself or out loud, allow it to increase your awareness and presence in the moment. In the words of Ram Dass – Be Here Now.

Ideas for beginning to practice with OM:

  1. First thing in the morning, sit up tall as you rise from bed and breathe in gently and on the exhale quietly voice the sound OM, repeat three times with the breath
  2. If you feel stressed or upset during the day, take a moment to breathe and repeat OM three times to yourself
  3. If you are getting ready for an important moment – such as a job interview, first date, big work presentation – use your OM practice to center yourself before launching in
  4. Before you go to bed, sit up tall and breathe in gently and on the exhale quietly say OM, then repeat three times
  5. Before you run… before you eat… before you speak… before you shop… before you check your mail… before you say, I love you… you get the picture
  6. As you practice with OM, gradually shift your experience to a heightened sense of relaxation with the goal of fully experiencing the sound

We will explore more meanings of OM and additional practices using the sound, but start with this technique to begin a new journey toward strengthening your mind-body-spirit connection through the power of yoga.

If you are uncomfortable with practicing OM, use your breath and focus on the inhale and the exhale as you slow your thoughts. Chanting OM or another mantra can be helpful to tune into your inner world, so over time you may want to try again and focus on the experience of OM without judgement or expectation.

The sound vibrations can be deeply meaningful and bring you closer to a pure experience state, so it may be worthwhile to try again as your relaxation practice deepens. Or it may just not be for you, which is fine as well. I encourage you to follow my blog as there may be other practices that are relevant and helpful to you.

Start with OM is personally relevant for me as this is the practice that I struggle with the most.

In lay terms, I have often run frantically into burning buildings filled with assumptions, fear and negativity rather than taking a moment to clear my mental slate and breathe through my OM practice. I dive into important conversations and meetings before taking a moment to draw inward and focus and clear my mind so that I am fully present and available to the people who need me the most.

Start with OM is a journey for me as well, to remind me to focus on the simple act of empowering my scared, hurt and frustrated inner child using OM.

I am thrilled to be starting this new journey with you, using OM as the light guiding us forward to greater peace, love and joy.

OM Shanti. Shanti. Shanti.

 

 

 

 

On By tcooleyIn MeditationLeave a comment

Checking in

On By tcooleyIn Inspiration, meditate, move, UncategorizedLeave a comment

For the past month or so, I’ve been hosting a weekly yoga class. My intention was to gain teaching experience while helping my friends better cope with the challenges of the difficult times that we’re living in.

I’ve realized that the real value of the weekly sessions are to connect and check-in. While I usually just teach impromptu without much of a plan, I can find a groove based on the general mood of the group to quickly decide what is most needed.

As a heavy consumer of media, I’ve been reminded many times since March to reach out and check in with folks. Yoga gives me an opportunity to not just ask how they’re doing, but sense how they’re doing based on body language and their requests.

Most people are feeling exhausted and drained, particularly in the evenings. Even though social isolation seems to make time slow down, the days and weeks seem to be passing quickly. It is difficult to truly process all that is happening in the world right now, leaving a deep emotional imprint that we each carry with us.

So, what about the check-ins? Reaching out to friends to ask how they’re doing generally results in an avalanche of complaints, gripes and long venting sessions. All understandable, but my takeaway is usually that they are irritated but not truly struggling. Because truly struggling generally results in silence and introspection, followed by (hopefully) strength and courage.

Yet irritation demands attention, like a gnat that just won’t go away until we attend to it. I believe that venting and complaining are avoidance strategies, but not true coping mechanisms that will ultimately serve to resolve issues, rather they only perpetuate and spread them.

And if we don’t attend to minor irritations, we tend to get bigger challenges until we finally relent and acknowledge the struggle, which is the beginning of coming to terms with it.

When the pandemic started, I recalled all the conversations I had with my spiritual mentors at Yogaville who believe that difficult circumstances are a Kali Yuga, or a time of upheaval that can ultimately be transformative.

While it is easy to fall into the trap of reacting, awareness and patience an turn a bad situation into a potential lesson and opportunity for growth.

Easy to say, yet hard to do. In Emerson’s words, “Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.”

While I have managed to commit to teaching yoga once a week, I have neglected to write because it requires honesty and authenticity and right now, it is hard just to get through my day. Creativity remains largely elusive for me. I haven’t painted in months. I feel numb and overwhelmed most of the time.

The majority of my efforts in life to connect with people have fallen flat and while I know how important connection is, mostly I just want to disconnect. Social isolation has made me want to isolate permanently and I have less agitation in my life when I don’t attempt to connect to new people.

I look forward to weekly yoga classes all week, and checking in even if I hear so much irritation. While I don’t usually share my own irritations because I try to focus on widening the lens more than anything else, it is comforting to know that I am not alone in having them.

I hope that the great changes in the world and in the struggles and tragedies that we all face only lead to positive outcomes achieved through awareness and patience. I hope that these times lead to profound growth and greater connection.

My hope for all yogis is a deeper understanding of the minor irritations that can lead to a greater self-concept and more serious commitment to the journey of growth and experience.

Om Shanti. Shanti. Shanti.

 

Let’s all do our part

On By tcooleyIn Inspiration, UncategorizedLeave a comment

When the pandemic started, I thought of it as being asked to do very little and didn’t consider social distancing and staying at home to be a real big deal. It was the least that I could do to maintain a safe community and get us back on track while preventing any unnecessary damage to the economy. And I think the majority of the people that I talked to felt this way.

Then George Floyd was killed sparking protests across the country and we saw another aspect of our society that it had long been easy to ignore as a white person. I always knew that it was there, but I for one neglected to understand my part to change it.

And for the first time, I started recognizing that I not only had a responsibility to be educated on the two Americas that we live in, but I also had to do my part to be a part of the change that is so desperately needed.

A few things have made me see the world differently over the past few months. First, people pouring their hearts out who have been in pain a long time pointing out that to do nothing makes us complicit. Second, people who believe that their reality is the only reality who make hateful remarks… truly this is a time that has drawn out all the racists. Third, recognizing that I needed to be prepared for a situation in which someone is being mistreated and act quickly. I know from experience that in order for me to be ready to act and know exactly what to do, I have to educate myself and be prepared to respond before the situation presents itself.

And let’s be honest, we all witness situations that are inappropriate and wrong. Oftentimes, I feel as though I am taken off-guard and am too shocked to react appropriately.

So I chose to use this time to learn and grow and prepare. Being an antiracist is a value that I now hold as I recognize that the only way things are going to change is if we change individually. Being antiracist has many dimensions, and it’s important to understand them all. I started with Dr. Kendi’s book to question my own assumptions and ingrained beliefs.

I grew up outside of Detroit and always knew that we lived in a society with extreme inequities. In college, I wrote my master’s thesis on depictions of slavery in a historical context and read books on segregation in housing and schools. While I had an interest in learning, I always knew that it was something that we don’t talk about generally and as a white person, I felt like it wasn’t my issue because my rights weren’t being taken away because of the color of my skin.

But thank goodness times have changed and what we now need above all else is compassion for one another and the desire to seek and learn more about one another and the experiences that we have survived. All the answers lie within and listening unlocks all of the power for a better, stronger society to emerge.

Below is a list of the resources that I have collected and committed to using to expand my understanding of the world around me, please let me know if you have any to add.

Om Shanti.

Books:

  • White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, Robin DiAngelo
  • How to Be An Antiracist, Dr. Ibram X. Kendi
  • Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World and Become a Good Ancestor, Layla F. Saad
  • So You Want to Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo
  • Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race, Reni Eddo-Lodge
  • How to Be Less Stupid About Race, Crystal M. Fleming
  • White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide, Carol Anderson, PhD
  • Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower, Dr. Brittney Cooper
  • I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou

NY Times Podcast: 1619

Mellody Hobson: Color blind or color brave? 

Rich Roll (Podcast): This Is America: Byron Davis & Phil Allen, Jr.

  • This Is America: Baptized in Whiteness Phil Allen blog post

  • 13th on Netflix, a documentary analysis of the criminalization of African Americans and the U.S. prison boom — and a master class in contextualizing the systemic aspect of racism.

Tim Wise Video: On White Privilege

TedTalk: Lucky Zip Codes

The eye of the hurricane

On By tcooleyIn InspirationLeave a comment

I’ve heard times of great difficulty expressed this way – to find stillness in the eye of the hurricane – and it has never been more challenging in my lifetime.

CBS This Morning interviewed Bishop T.D. Jakes and he described it as a trifecta of crises that the country is dealing with – economic, physiological, social. I would add political to the mix. Before he described it this way, as these forces of turmoil coming together, it just felt overwhelming and difficult to comprehend.

But we have to find a way to break it down into manageable parts and tackle it the best way we know how for the sake of the country, our families and our sanity since there is no other choice but to cope. I’ve encountered far too many people in life who avoid coping, it isn’t healthy but rather cowardly and painful. As we say in ultra running, the only way out is through.

The protests are front-and-center right now, and I’ve spent the last week or so seeing the problem in a new light by diving in deep to commentary and perspective to understand and recognizing that I have a responsibility to understand. We all have inherent biases and without doing the work to gain perspective, those biases will always be there.

Tara Brach shared a wonderful African proverb on her weekly live stream last night:

The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth

While I’ve never been a victim of police brutality and I’ve never feared the police, I have had experiences in life that have made me feel this way. During the #metoo movement, I read the news everyday and broke down in tears nearly everyday. We all have a responsibility to care for and support one another in our efforts to become more human, and most of us have the capacity to show empathy for other people suffering and respond with, ‘what can I do to make it stop?’

Many of us have been asking ourselves this same question for months – ‘What can I do to make the virus stop’… ‘What can I do to help businesses survive and help people who have lost their income?’ Yet in reality, many times we can only deal with the biggest question on our minds, ‘How can I get through this day?’ And then it becomes the next day, and the next and the next until it feels like it’s never going to end…

Discipline and priorities can be liberating as they provide the comfort that we are doing our best. The priority right now must be to take in the historic moments that are defining the times. For me that has meant scouring the news, watching all the news reels –  regardless of how painful it is – and making decisions about what can be done now.

From making masks to patronizing local family-owned restaurants to joining an anti-racist book club, these are all small steps that can make a huge difference especially if they become habitual.

I have no wisdom or unique insights to share because life has been daunting and humbling these past few months and it has taken my breath away nearly everyday. I am grateful for an income and a continued ability to provide for my child and myself. I am grateful for every day that I’m given with my kid and my dog at my side.

There are many spiritual leaders stepping up to support us, find one that you believe in and take it all in. Breathe in experience, exhale peace. The world needs more of it right now.

Om Shanti. Shanti. Shanti.

 

 

 

Starting with OM

On By tcooleyIn InspirationLeave a comment

OM.

That’s right, OM.

I started with OM. Despite the fact that I have a blog called Start with OM, it is very rare that I actually start with OM. A centering technique to remind me to be here now. Irony. I am starting with OM. This time.

This is my practice, and this is why I have a blog called Start with OM – to remind myself to start.with.OM.

This is OM:

  • I used to want to fall in love with the man of my dreams and thought about the perfect life we would have together all the time. Now I am just happy to find a few chocolate-covered espresso beans in my hydration pack. My “falling in love” dream may have been temporarily disappointing, but my chocolate-covered espresso beans delivered true happiness and I am not disappointed in this outcome because I’ve discovered ways of finding the joy in the simplest of pleasures.
  • When I reconnect with friends I haven’t seen in awhile, they fill me in on their relationship troubles and dating woes… and I talk about what I am watching on Netflix. And this is how I know that my life is good, even if it is not always great. The path is the OM, the path is the way… no destination or goal will ever deliver like the journey and this is my practice.
  • Instead of wondering what’s playing at the movies, now I look around my house trying to figure out what I can fix with my jigsaw and I enjoy myself even more than if I had gone to the best movie I have ever seen. I have had some difficult moments learning how to use power tools but these difficult moments have given me appreciation for what I can do rather than an emphasis on what I can’t do. I’ll never figure out what I can do unless I try to do stuff. I found a note in my daughter’s room this week that said, “everything is figure-out-able” and this is a great practice.
  • When I feel frustrated at work, I remind myself that I have a job. When I am frustrated with family, I remind myself that I have a family. When I am frustrated with friends, I remind myself that I have friends. And I tell myself to be quiet and turn inward, this is my practice.
  • When crabs try to pull me into their crab pot so that they do not have to suffer alone, it is ok to gently push away and move forward without them. The act of breaking away delivers hope to them that it is possible and this is sometimes the most compassionate action available to us.

Perspective is at a premium in today’s world. I am not an expert and don’t have any answers for anyone besides myself and even then I am a BIG work in progress. But I have found that starting with OM is worth a shot.

OM. OM. OM.

 

 

 

 

Progress may be a stretch

On By tcooleyIn meditate, moveLeave a comment

I am a firm believer in habits, good or bad… they work. So, if we get to choose good habits and choose bad habits, we should do so carefully.

This was the theme of my January. I kicked the month of strong – Aiming to meditate just 10 minutes each day. Up to this point, I had only participated in very long meditation sessions (up to 90 minutes) but I had never had a regular meditation practice.

I quickly shifted from 10 minute sessions to 20 minute sessions because I thoroughly enjoyed the silence. But then I got sick, and everything went out the window. Then I got better and failed to find my way back to my meditation habit.

February started off strong by adding in a 10-minute yoga session each night. This lasted about a week before I got busy, got distracted, got brain numb.

Occasionally, I will meditate… and occasionally I will do 10-minutes of yoga before bed. Several times a week, I have a regular yoga practice but it’s the before bed part that I am struggling with…

Despite the minimal progress, I wanted to focus on a challenge each month to consider why it’s so hard to form habits and what can be done to turn it around because I know these habits would be life-transforming.

Here is what I have learned so far:

  • The weight of the January challenge has sufficiently convinced me to take more quiet moments during the day, and work with a mantra while I run so that it becomes a moving meditation. Lord knows I spend a lot of time running, so this has essentially become found time for meditation. And it is working as I am becoming more contemplative and better able to slow my thoughts and focus.
  • The weight of the February challenge has convinced me to connect movement to pleasure, so when I wake up in the morning I am instantly moving and stretching. (I am learning this from my dog!) While this is not what I intended, I do consider it a solid 10-minutes of am yoga. As for bed time, I am doing more long deep stretches (yin) and twists, which are excellent for improving my sleep.

If I can count lessons as progress, then I am making progress. If reaching my goal was all that mattered, then progress may be a stretch.

Perhaps most importantly – and I hope others find this valuable – what I have taken away from the process of trying to create habits is that I have become a habit-creating machine.

The discipline has moved to other areas of my life, including nutrition and hydration… I’ve made many minor changes that are paying off. I would not have this natural inclination to start up new healthy habits unless I had already been in habit-forming mode.

As I have learned from running, I am choosing to let go of my failures and shortcomings because holding on to them does not serve me. Instead, I am going to focus on the positive changes that I have made and will continue to make.

The destination isn’t the journey for me, the journey is the journey.

Jai. (Victory!)

12 Habits

On By tcooleyIn InspirationLeave a comment

The focus of the closing session at most retreats that I’ve attended is how to bring what we have learned and discussed into everyday life. This is often the challenge – not the lack of brilliance or discovery in these sessions but rather the discipline to put the lessons into practice.

Each year, I try to come up with a meaningful resolution for the new year. But long ago, I realized that I cannot change my life in one day and have it really stick. Starting with last year, I do one small thing a month. Last year, I resolved to write one meaningful post each month (and I was basically successful although I was a bit late some months!).

In 2020, I resolve to create a habit each month based on what I have learned during my personal retreats, accepting that although I am made of stardust (as we all are) I am terribly imperfect and will more than likely fail repeatedly before I am truly successful. And success will look very different than the vision in my head before I begin, but it’s all part of the learning process.

This is roughly how I want to tackle the 12 habits:

January: Meditate for 5 minutes in the morning and in the evening (this one is easy as I’m pretty close to this timeframe already… but I need to start slow here!)

February: Yoga for 10 minutes in the morning and in the evening (so important when I’m not running, so achy all over… I probably spend 5 or so minutes doing this already, but I’m going to actually time myself starting in February… yikes!)

March: Add 5 minutes of meditation mid-day and 5 minutes of yoga mid-day (now it’s getting serious)

April: Learn the Hanuman Chalisa (finally)… It has been years since I’ve been chanting right along to this one and I’m about 3/4 of the way there but this year is the year!

May: Go back to being mostly vegan, having a kid has made this difficult as I don’t like to force her to follow my eating habits.. but I want to make more of a commitment this year

June: Celibacy… this is not hard for me as I love being alone and haven’t met the right guy yet! Knowing me, this will probably be the entire year actually… So I guess this just means I get a break from forming habits in June!  (still, it counts!)

July: Increase my water intake. I’m so bad at this.. July seems like a perfect month to add this one in!

August: Catch up on all my doctor’s visits. I’m a little behind and since I work in healthcare, I don’t like our healthcare system and try to avoid doctor visits. But during the slow summer months, I’m going to catch up.

September: Pick up my paintbrushes again! I’ve taken a long break but I really miss having a creative outlet…

October: Speaking of creative outlet… I haven’t played guitar in months and when the weather starts changing, I will need some quality indoor activities

November: Less TV… boy is this one hard with a kiddo in the house. We used to play games, now she wants to watch TV all the time. I don’t watch a lot but would like to cut us both back.

December: Vacation as discipline! I have fallen off the vacation wagon big time. Mainly because I’m a freelancer and need to work even while on vacation (not so fun), but this is the year that I start to get back into the vacation swing of things.

Here’s the best part… my plan is to journal the experience so that I know what works and what doesn’t and can keep better track of where everything is falling apart. If you’d like to join me, please share your own list… maybe we can all learn from each other!

Have a wonderful holiday… and best wishes for an amazing new year.

Om Shanti. Shanti. Shanti.

 

 

adventures with headstand

On By tcooleyIn moveLeave a comment

Full disclosure right upfront – I am terrible at headstand. Yet I love it. It’s an issue for me as a yoga teacher but there it is.

The issue is I can’t really teach it since I nearly always use a wall as a prop and flail my legs because I can get some serious stretches in while upside down. I don’t advise practicing this at home and not even sure if it’s helpful, but it feels natural and gosh darn good so I do it.

I love doing headstand at the gym most of all. Primarily because I can watch people walk by when I’m inverted. It’s highly entertaining – probably a lot like watching aliens walk on the moon. Sometimes I even wonder if the person just has a really bizarre gait or if it just looks that way since I’m upside down.

I’ve gotten used to the 3-minute timeframe, which is how long it takes for the blood to circulate throughout the entire body. And sometimes I’m even diligent enough to do fish pose afterwards for my counter-pose treat.

Now here is what I would advise for headstand if I were a teacher who could practice what I preach:

  • Wake up every morning and do headstand right away (after a few sun salutations, of course). Since you get a rush from inversions, it’s a good way to quickly get up and get going with the brightest feeling deep inside.
  • I was taught by the masters at Yogaville (check it out) who advised setting up your tripod (on forearms and upper forehead) and (with straight legs) gently moving the tip toes toward the body until they are close enough to your elbows that they float upwards with little effort. (Incidentally, if you have tight hips this may be nearly as difficult as pulling your bottom lip over the top of your head.)
  • Once in headstand, adding a lotus by moving your legs into the shape of a pretzel can further open the hips.
  • Post-headstand, staying in child’s pose for a few breaths can be helpful (I can do this!). Then fish or camel pose to loosen up any tightness that may have built up in the shoulders or upper back. Counterposes are important for restoring balance in the body, particularly after more challenging poses such as headstand (sirsasana in sanskrit).

If you do only one yoga pose, go for this one as it can change your perspective. Best done in the morning as an energizer. If you start against the wall, it will quickly get easier and intuitive to kick the legs up the wall. Over time, start to move away to work on balance. (Ok, I cheat a lot… but still enjoy a good headstand without a wall when I’m feeling balance-curious.)

Sirsasana is especially helpful for runners for faster recovery times. In fact, I’ve fantasized about doing headstand at aid stations, not sure if it would be altogether helpful but certainly sounds like a good idea worth checking out. Just need to figure out how to avoid getting dirt in my hair, not that details like that ever stopped me. Maybe handstand?!?

Seriously, try it out as it will change your perspective (obviously… you are upside down). Tune in to the energizing feeling in the body and dive in deep to all the amazing loveliness of this one.

Om Shanti. Shanti. Shanti.

 

 

 

messengers

On By tcooleyIn breathe, Inspiration, Meditation1 Comment

In yoga class, we often talk about “messengers.” Aches and pains in the body that provide information and call to us – or even scream at us – to pay attention to alleviate the suffering or address a small issue before it becomes a bigger issue.

It’s also called “tuning in.”

But it extends beyond the physical realm, it also applies to the people in our lives who are messengers. We don’t learn and grow solely from healthy, mature, nurturing relationships, and the biggest opportunities for growth and change are in challenges and conflict.

This is what is most exciting about yoga – you can heal the body through the mind, you can heal the mind through the body, you can heal the body through emotions, and you can heal emotions through the mind. And all of it in reverse or vice versa or whatever… you get it. It’s all connected.

And it’s a practice that you can work on and get better at over time.

When you have a niggling ache or pain in the body, don’t take pills or a shot or numb it, lock up and turn away. Ease into it and try to unravel it, figure out the source and solve it for good. Then move on.

With people, it can be more complicated.

Messengers are not intentionally trying to be helpful to us, rather they are usually attacking us or tearing us down in some way because that is their path and often has very little to do with the person they are undermining.

But they offer a valuable message. The reaction we have is filled with treasures. If we are annoyed, irritated and have a flight or fight response, we miss out on the opportunity.

Sitting with the feeling and recognizing what is really happening, these are the treasures. Recognizing that the attack may have nothing at all to do with us, and instead feeling compassion because the person is suffering. Then having compassion for ourselves by staying strong, voicing true feelings and beliefs, and understanding the dynamic is the gift we give ourselves.

Unwrapping our reaction to better understand what is inside, why we are triggered in certain ways and why someone else’s opinion may have a negative impact is the practice.

As I tell my students, negative people and bullies don’t come after you because of who you are – they go after you because of who they are. There is only one person who gets to decide who you are – YOU!

Once you know who you are, their efforts to make you feel horrible are stripped away and with practice, their efforts are futile.

I love my family and friends, but I also love the people who have kicked sand in my face and left me lying in a gutter because these people gave me messages that changed my life. These messengers led me to magnificent lessons and gifts that I now treasure.

OM Shanti. Shanti. Shanti.

 

 

 

race report: Yeti 100

On By tcooleyIn race reports1 Comment

yeti 100 finish.jpg
Not only did I (finally!) finish a 100-miler, I fell in love with a race. Falling in love can’t be entered into lightly, which is why it took me more than 300k steps to decide that this was really it – the real thing.

Is there such a thing as a “perfect race”?? Especially one that is run from the back-of-the-pack? If there is, then I definitely ran it and will recommend this race to first-timers every chance that I get.

Race registration was smooth and seamless, and Wolf Hills Brewery captures the spirit of the race – country with a little bit of rock-n-roll and a healthy dash of old school punk rock mixed in for good measure.

We stayed at a house that was a few hundred steps from the start line. The 7am start time was so ideal, particularly since there was no drive time or confusing directions (or confused GPS) to stress me out.

The race briefing from Jason Green was seriously the best that I’ve ever heard. He put the “brief” in briefing, no messing around. It set the standard for the day – no messing around. His rallying cries for never giving up had me tearing up. I knew it was going to be a great race.

The first 15 miles or so were all downhill, even though it was very subtle compared to what I’m used to, I forced myself to maintain an 11-minute pace through Damascus.

I saw my crew for the first time in Damascus. One of the great features of this race is that the aid stations are easy to access, so easy to get some ample crew time in. I felt extremely fortunate that I had personalized service at nearly every aid station.

There were a couple of long sections (between white top and Taylor Valley and Alvarado and Abingdon) that I was expecting to get water but read the AS chart wrong, these are crossings not aid stations. So heads up, carry enough water for about 10 miles. The Alvarado to Abingdon section was a bit more exposed than the rest of the course.

AS volunteers were truly incredible, and the ASs had everything I could possibly want. The Damascus AS was a party, push yourself to keep moving and refrain from partying too hard. Couldn’t help but dance with the unicorn each time that I ran through Damascus.

By the time that I got to mile 70 or so at White Top, I told a volunteer that my right hip was no longer working and asked for advice. She looked at me and offered a hug, and when I accepted she gave me a real hug! Then she spun me around and told me to look at the sky, which was full of stars, and told me that they were all in the sky for me.

She was right – there was not much I could do about the hip – finding the magic inside would be my only hope.

I flew out of that AS but then started struggling about 10 miles down the trail. I had to stop for stretch breaks and (twice!) I had to curl up on the side of the trail in a fetal position. My pacer did a great job of keeping me distracted, but by the time I got into Damascus I felt completely mentally and physically spent.

I was convinced that I would drop at mile 84/Damascus because I had tried so hard to turn it around with no success. An angel of a volunteer met me as I walked toward the AS and asked me my name. He told me that he went through exactly what I was going through the week before. I started listening to him.

Pretty soon, there were several volunteers trying to convince me to keep going. I had learned my lesson from previous races, I stopped the head chatter and looked deeply into their eyes, trying to take in every word.

Meanwhile, my pacer went to the car to get my second pacer and told her that I was about to drop. Second pacer was not having it, I knew I was in for it. I turned my head off, as the volunteers suggested, and only listened to my pacer.

She got me back on the trail and told me what to do. Pretty soon, we were both shouting and charging forward. We made it to Alvarado and (mistakenly) were told that I’d missed the cutoff. As I was crawling into the back of the car, someone realized that it was a mistake and race organizers gave me the green light.

I jumped back on the trail and fought my way through the next few miles. The sweeper came to meet us and told me that I was in jeopardy of missing the mile 96 cutoff and spent several miles pushing me harder. I did everything he said.

When we finally approached the finish line, volunteers had formed a human bridge for me to run under and I got a big hug from Jason Green, who handed me my very first 100-mile buckle.

This race has it all – beautiful trail and countryside, amazing volunteers and race organizers, incredible aid stations, and magic, magic, magic. If you are a first-timer, believe in the magic and go get after some big miles. In the right environment with the right support, everything is possible.

#yetiarmy

September: Uptight

On By tcooleyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

If I had to pick one word for the city that I live in, it would be uptight. Yet this isn’t my word, I met an elderly man from India (guru/wise sage?) outside of a coffee shop a few weeks ago and this was his assessment.

He had only been living in my city for a few days, and he shared that this was his instinctual reaction to the people in the area. He had transplanted from India, and he approached me because he saw me playing with my dog and not being uptight.

I got the sense that he really wanted to share his feelings with someone. I understand what he meant as I’ve had hundreds of encounters with uptight strangers. I try to remind myself that perhaps they’re not uptight, but rather distracted or confused or daydreaming.

But if you look more closely and keep looking, it’s hard not to use the word uptight.

We are all guilty of taking ourselves way too seriously, and being distracted, confused and daydreaming are all totally normal. But if uptight-ness is underlying all of it, we all need to get to a yoga studio STAT.

Life is too short to spend it tied up in knots inside. One of the saddest realities that I learned in yoga class (actually getting certified class, not typical yoga class) is that some people can’t relax or meditate. It makes them uncomfortable and stressed because they’ve spent so much time in a heightened state of emotion and repression that relaxation is next to impossible, and actually produces the opposite effect of stress.

While there could be other dynamics at play, most yoginis believe that this is great information and a great opportunity. Going deeper and moving into it and toward it can be truly transformative.

Accessible yoga has always been compelling to me. Accessible anything has always been compelling to me. People who say it’s not for them, they don’t fit in, they could never be successful at it. These are all messages that it may be exactly what they need (perhaps not always, but it is a clue that should be explored). Typically, the term “accessible” is applied to people who have a physical limitation, but from my perspective any other type of block – emotional, spiritual, psychological – can be applicable.

This is one of the many beauties of yoga. I view my studio as an oasis of peace and clarity in an otherwise chaotic and uptight city.

So if this is you, go forward and be so fruitful in your endeavors. Untie the knots and know that we all have our knots to untie. Explore the unknown and know that we all have our unknowns.

We are all terrified of what is just beyond us that is so scary yet so fascinating and offers us pure, unadulterated, liberating freedom, freedom, freedom.

Om Shanti. Shanti. Shanti.